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Tackling An Addictive Lifestyle

Pastor Colin Meadows

Many people today are struggling with destructive habits & damaging addictions of various kinds. It has been suggested that our current generation is the most addict-affected society in world history. There are many reasons put forward for this, foremost of which are the breakdown of family structures and loss of personal moral values. The bottom line is that we as a nation have turned our backs on God and chosen to tackle life by ourselves. Our efforts at best have not been effective and for many of us, falling into addictions has been our fate. Whatever the reasons for this proliferation of addictions we each may suggest, we have many people in our homes, churches and community struggling to cope with addictive lifestyles.

Newspaper headlines are very instructive in this regard. Over a period of a few weeks, a check of articles appearing in our local newspapers showed people struggling with the following addictions: sending SMS text messages (West Australian, Oct 11 2003), Internet addiction, prescription drugs & caffeine (Sunday Times, Oct 12 2003), gambling & cannabis (West Australian, Oct 18, 2003), gambling, alcohol, ecstasy, cocaine & amphetamines (Sunday Times, Oct 26 2003), gambling (West Australian, Nov 1 2003), sleeping pills and alcohol (West Australian, Nov 8 2003), cannabis, alcohol & amphetamines (West Australian, Dec 6, 2003) & Nitrous Oxide (West Australian, Dec 12 2003). These are just a few of the addictions that currently plague our society & they highlight the significance of the problem.

Let’s make this very personal! It may be that you have some habit or practice that is stifling your life and hindering your relationships. In particular, chemical dependences and compulsive behaviors of various kinds are rife in our communities. Is there any way out of this impasse or must we just struggle on through life with this burden?

Yes, there is a way out! However, in tackling addictions, one must never trivialize the difficulty of the way out, nor assume that recovery will be easy. Each addiction is very specific and has its own characteristics. The encouraging news however is that there are steps that we can take, with God’s help, to regain control in our lives. Some of these steps are very difficult & will require the help and support of others. In all of these steps, our trust and dependence on God is all important & that is where our focus must be!

Predisposing factors: What factors may lead to an addictive lifestyle? There is no simple answer to such a question as there will be different reasons for each person’s situation. In many cases, things that happened in early childhood may have a profound effect on us later in life. This is especially in the case of severe abuse. Factors suggested that trigger off an addictive lifestyle have tended to be related to stress overload, perceived lack of time, boredom & low self-esteem. When one or more of these triggers are present, then one’s defenses may be lowered enough so that unwanted habits and addictive behaviors begin to develop. By engaging in these behaviors, this leads to a release from the stress pressure, taking one’s mind off the time issue, relieving of the boredom and reinforcing feelings of low self-esteem.

With some people, they respond to these pressures of daily life by developing cravings for certain foods, coffee, alcohol or cigarettes. Other people procrastinate, becoming forgetful, unwilling to commit, switching themselves off emotionally from others and beginning to lie about their behavior. For yet others, they develop compulsive behavior patterns to relieve the tension and engage in fidgeting, compulsive cleaning, allowing perpetual untidiness or financial mismanagement.

How can people caught in such addictive lifestyles best be helped? Is there a way out of the dilemma? The answer to these questions is ‘Yes’. In fact, two approaches or a combination of both approaches have been used with significant success over many years.

A. Professional Counseling: People with special expertise in these areas can be very helpful in assisting people to tackle their particular addiction. These counselors often have skills that enable them to pinpoint the areas of weakness & to then implement strategies for moving forward in regard to the specific addiction. Such trained people should thus be consulted for their assistance.

B. Become part of a Small Accountability Group: Secondly one can become accountable to others in a small group. By this is meant a group of people who meet together regularly for support and encouragement as they seek to help each other overcome their particular addiction. In the US in 2001, for instance, there were over 500,000 support groups, many of which were focused on coping with addictions (Grid Issue 3, 2001, p. 3).

What if I can’t afford counseling? Counseling can be quite expensive and for some people, it is not an option. Does this mean that such people are trapped in their addiction? The answer is no, for it has been found that if you have to make a choice & can only be involved in one recovery strategy, then the single most effective way forward is to be part of a ‘self-care accountability group’.

C. The Combination Approach: Many recovering people however need more help than what the group alone can provide. This is often because such people are struggling with multiple issues such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, relationship problems & so forth. For these people, professional therapy also is needed. When one is determined to overcome an addiction, the cost of such therapy is well worthwhile & a small price to pay for moving towards wholeness. From many studies, the accountability group, combined with professional help, has been found to be the most effective way for such people to recover from different forms of dependence & addiction (Gorski, 1992:15).

‘Alcoholics Anonymous’ as an example: Studies in the US over a long period of time show that 40-50% of alcoholics who link up with AA become long-term members. Of these people who join long-term, 60-68% achieve significant freedom from alcohol dependence. That is a very significant rate of recovery when compared to other forms of treatment. The small accountability group is thus a vitally important tool to assist in recovery from addictions.

How do I decide if I need professional help? Perhaps you think you can break from your addiction by being in a small group & without counseling help. Four issues have been found to be significant in deciding if a person will need extra help, apart from their membership in the group:

1. Severe Withdrawal: Where a person is struggling with severe withdrawal, medical supervision may be needed.

2. Physical Illness: If someone is medically sick, they need medical help, not an accountability group!

3. Extreme Confusion: If a person is extremely confused and out of control, then extra help will be needed. Some withdrawal symptoms may last for 6-18 months or more. Medical supervision during this time is very important.

4. Relationship Problems: Extra help is often needed to assist people rebuild relationships, find work, and so forth.

Steps to Recovery: There are numerous programs available around the world that have been developed to assist people work through their addictions and to break out into freedom. Many are based on the twelve-step plan of AA & may have their own variations but often they follow the pattern:

1. Admit that I have a problem and my life is out of control: I have tried to sort things out alone and I have not succeeded. Thus I am asking for help. I can’t beat this addiction by myself and my life is unmanageable.

2. Believe that God can help me to break out of this cycle: As Christians we affirm that it is God’s desire that we live lives that please Him. We further believe that He will provide us with the strength to overcome the addiction we are battling with. We need to admit that we are suffering from addictive behavior that is obsessive and compulsive. This behavior can only be removed with outside help from God.

3. Turn my life over to God: By an act of my will, I hand my life into God’s care and control. I commit myself to participate in a long-term-structured program of recovery. I will further commit myself to seek professional help if that is required.

4. Be honest with myself, with God & with others: We need to be brutally honest with ourselves, not hiding behind excuses or blaming others. The time for self-denial is over. With the help of a trusted friend, I will make a searching & fearless inventory of my life at this point in time, identifying both my strengths and weaknesses. I refuse to live in denial any longer.

5. Confess to God, a close friend & ourselves our situation: Share an honest appraisal of where you are at with a trusted friend and explain what has brought you to this point. Outline how your addiction has affected you and those around you. Acknowledge that you have been living in isolation from others and that this has stifled your growth and development as a person. Accept the advice given to you by your friend as you confide in them to help you move forward.

6. Be willing to allow God to cleanse & rebuild your life: You have reached a point where you don’t want to go on as you are. Acknowledge, however, that your addictive behavior has brought you some temporary pleasure. Now identify the character traits, as you know them that, have led to the addictive behavior.

7. Humbly ask God to forgive you and cleanse you: Ask for his strength to leave your addictive lifestyle behind, & to have the courage to face up to issues in your life. The healing process will begin inside you through the power of the Holy Spirit and then move outwards to change your behavior.

8. Identify people you have harmed through your addictive behavior: Your past addictive behavior may have hurt or even damaged other people. Be willing to make amends to these people if this is felt necessary. Your trusted friend will help you in these decisions. For your part, forgive people who have hurt you. You need to let go of the past.

9. Where possible & appropriate, ask for the forgiveness of people you have hurt: Be sincere in this process. Seeking this forgiveness from others will be part of the healing process in your life.

10. Keep a daily log of your life: Seek to ask for God’s help each day as you move through recovery process. Keep a journal of your pilgrimage to wholeness in Christ. Admit your weaknesses and actively seek to overcome these with God’s help. As part of this process, begin to reach out to help others.

11. Seek through prayer & meditation on God’s Word to grow closer to God: Your addiction may have distorted your spiritual values & attitudes. Seek for God’s presence in your life, listening to His voice as your read his Word, the Bible. Allow His Word to saturate your thinking & to begin the process of rebuilding your world. Put your faith into practice!

12. Seek to share with others what God has been doing in your life: God has been bringing healing into your life. There are many other people around you who are struggling with addictions of varying kinds. These people desperately need to hear that there is hope for their condition. You can be used by God to bring that hope into their lives, through the power of God’s Holy Spirit. Pass the good news on!

This pathway is basically the ones used in AA meetings, with some minor adjustments. You may wish to make your own adjustments as you allow God to work in your life. Let us seek in God’s strength to move forward towards wholeness, trusting Him daily for his guidance.

Disclaimer

THE CONTENTS OF THIS LEAFLET ARE INTENDED ONLY AS A GUIDE TO THE ISSUES DISCUSSED. THE AUTHORS AND PUBLISHERS EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ALL AND ANY LIABILITY TO ANY PERSON, IN RESPECT OF ANYTHING, OR THE CONSEQUENCES OF ANYTHING, DONE OR OMITTED TO BE DONE, BY ANY PERSON IN RELIANCE, WHETHER WHOLLY OR PARTIALLY, UPON THE STATEMENTS CONTAINED WITHIN THIS BOOKLET.